I’ve been reflecting on this idea lately and have seen how much keeping it in mind impacts my day.
So often I’m caught in “parenting scenarios”. You know what those are.
A child asks for something and for some reason or other the answer is no, and now he’s frustrated.
The children don’t want to leave (the park, to go to school etc) when it’s time to go.
A child is throwing something because he’s angry.
A child doesn’t like what you made for dinner and you’re at the end of your energy.
This list can go on and on. And that’s because the nature of our reality is that there are always things happening, always situations that need to be handled. Our days are filled with interactions, things to do, bedtime, and expectations..
In the midst of all this, I can find myself not only growing overwhelmed by the mental load of motherhood but also with the outcomes of all said scenarios.
How do I end this fight?
What do I do with my child who will be upset today?
How will I manage bedtime with no energy and a crying baby?
What should I make for dinner that will work for everyone?
You get it. My mind is constantly thinking and planning how I will parent.
And then a shift happened, which has filled me with a tremendous amount of peace.
It’s not about how I parent. It’s about the parent I’m being.
Am I really listening to my child who’s crying, or wishing it would stop?
Am I a mother that wants everyone to have something to eat or do I just want to get dinner time over with?
Am I present when my child throws a tantrum, letting him know he’s ok, or do I mirror his behavior?
Am I a confident mother who believes in herself, and gives herself bucketloads of love and compassion for the long summer days?
Do I trust myself that I can do this?
I’m not saying that I don’t handle the parenting scenarios as they come along, of course I do!
The goal has shifted away from “What parenting method am I using” to “What kind of parent do I want to be”.
It may sound simple, but sometimes the most simple ideas take a lot to face. Once the focus has shifted, I can be the person I want to be, and parent the way I wish to.
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