
I want to share a thought, a kind of mantra I’ve adopted for myself and keep reminding myself of.
A few years ago we were waiting for some money to come in and it was taking a lot longer than expected. We were really counting on it to cover a whole bunch of expenses and the numbers were not looking great.
Every few days we checked the account, and nothing. I remember this moment as if it were today. It was the second day of Sukkos and a payment was due, we had no clue how it would be covered and we were trying to think of creative solutions. My husband decided to check the account just one more time, and low and behold, the full amount was there, at the exact moment we needed it.
Hashem has a grand plan and we so much like and crave to be in control, or at least have a glimpse of how things will work out. We often don’t get that luxury. But it usually does work out, only when it needs to work out.
I see it time and time again. When we needed to move and couldn’t find an apartment, until the very very last minute, when we actually needed it.
When job searching, the right job turned up out of the blue after months and months of searching.
This shows up all the time, often surrounding bigger decisions that we so crave to plan in order to secure ourselves a little spot of safety in a world so unknown.
It can be house hunting, job searching, daycare and schools for children. Big and little things that often require so much in order for everything to fall into place. The right time, location, price, and so on and so forth.
And it usually works out at the very very end.
I like to look back at times in my life where this held true, and use them as chizzuk when I’m waiting for things to fall into place. Like today, when I don’t know where my son is going to gan next year, and so many factors need to fall into place in order to make a decision. I remind myself that he doesn’t need to go to gan today, come September 1st and I imagine it will be worked out.
Is it hard? Of course! Is it annoying? Definitely! It’s so nice to have everything lined up and planned out.
If you’ve been around here for a while you know about The And Factor. We can hold space for two things at once.
It will only work out when it needs to work out, AND that can be so frustrating to be in the dark.
I do want to add and clarify that I’m not saying everything always turns out rosy. Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes we’re left in the dark for a really long time, sometimes really hard things come our way. That is definitely true and so, so hard and painful on so many levels.
I’m specifically referring to the kind of things we’re waiting on with a timeline and so much hope for answers in advance.
So remember, when so much is in the air, things tend to work out only when they need to work out.
And in the meantime? Hold on tight, cry, have some chocolate, and be kind to yourself for being in limbo which is not a fun place to be.
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